Cycling fashion takes a dive as Garmin-Cervelo and Saxo Bank-Sungard unveil new jersey designs.
by Joe Lindsey
Oh, thank heaven it’s January 3.
By the rules of pro cycling contracts, riders cannot appear in the kit or on the equipment of their new team until January 1, because contracts run through December 31 and always include rights agreements. Unless you’re Lance Armstrong and you have separate likeness agreements and threaten to sue your clothing sponsor for congratulating you.
Ahem, did I digress already? So much for that resolution.
Anyway, it’s part of the hilarity of the aptly named silly season that teams hold training camps in the fall and early winter with the specific aim of getting new signees fitted to the gear they’ll be using next season, and then engage in a Kabuki dance of non-disclosure strictures on the media they’ve invited to attend said events to not publish photos, blogs, tweets, tumblogs, posterouses (eese?), or otherwise acknowledge in any way until January 1 that we saw Thor Hushovd’s new clothing.
Come January 1, these restrictions fall by the wayside and teams step full over the threshold into the new gear in their finest regalia. This antidiluvian tradition is good for one thing, and one thing only: heckling.
Two new kit designs were released over the weekend so, in case you were entranced by Oklahoma’s thorough demolition of an overmatched, out-of-place UConn team in the Fiesta Bowl, I present them here.
First, the new Garmin-Cervelo kit:
Classic, understated and crisp. But the initial reaction from the Tweeps is that, like the Rio 2016 logo, it bears a suspicious resemblance to that of another outfit. In Rio’s case, it’s a small foundation in Telluride; Garmin’s kit imitates something a bit closer to home, although as someone far wittier than I pointed out, after stealing Wiggo perhaps Sky owed them one.
My reaction, for the cup of warm dishwater that it is worth, is a shoulder shrug. I don’t necessarily mind that it’s a close relative of the outfit worn by Brailsford’s boys, although it’s going to be a bit rough ID’ing riders in the break this year.
I’m more concerned that it’s uninspired. It seems a token effort. The distinctive argyle of years past evoked very strong reactions among fans, but at least it elicited SOME response. The white horizontal band on a black field is so zzzz…sorry, where was I?
I’m a little worried, actually. Garmin-Cervelo founder Jonathan Vaughters is well-known for his sartorial sense. If not argyle, at least something based on his prized red tartan slacks. But no.
I fear the union with the more staid Cervelo team has blunted Vaughters’ stylistic savoir-faire to the point where JV will shave his angular sideburns and take to wearing nondescript crewneck sweaters from Gap and Aeropostale. Cycling needs more style, not less.
Now we turn our attention to Saxo Bank-Sungard, whose new kit has an eagle on it. Yes, an eagle.
Past uniforms from Bjarne Riis’ team have had a raptor motif as well, but it’s always been far more subtle. The 2011 edition looks like a prop from the set of the Colbert Report.
Why an eagle? Aside from being totally kick-ass (it’s an eagle! duh!), Bjarne Riis’ nickname from his younger days as a cyclist was “The Eagle of Herning.” Of course, one of Riis’ other nicknames was “Mr. 60 Percent” but that’s perhaps a little harder to render in graphic form.
Wait, maybe not.
Anyway, eagles. Aside from giving Phil and Paul several new catchphrases to work with (I’m betting on a trademark “Cacaw!” whenever a Saxo Bank rider attacks), it’s, um, distinctive.
Except it’s not even distinctive in cycling: new-maybe-possibly signee Alberto Contador’s ex-teammate, Alexandre Vinokourov already has the eagle thing covered.
This is sort of the opposite of the Garmin approach above, but not in a good way. It makes me think of nothing quite so much as the unfortunate hood graphics found on Pontiac Firebirds of the second and third generation vintage. In other words, some of the most hideous stock paint ever found on an automobile.
Chapeau, Bjarne. You’ve taken the most feared team in cycling to Vegas lounge act Richie and the Trans Ams.
Later this week: Free Johan! Plus, predictions for 2011.